Drinking Buddies. 1.
by Skam Diablo
Summary: This is the first a few weekly series possibly. Its funny, just read it kinda offensive but then again its funny!


Drinking Buddies. The Bar Fight Episode.

Tien, Krillin, Yamcha and Choatzu decided to celebrate Earth's victory over Radditz.

"Hey guys watch this." Tien took a knife from behind the bar and stuck it in a can of Heineken. He released the knife and put the whole in the can to his mouth. In on giant motion he pulled the tab and tilted the can so the beer would rush down his throat. "Ahh." He gasped. This was followed by a loud belch.

"Wow whaddya call that?" Krillin asked.

"Shot gunning, you can do it with any can."

"That's my Tien!" Choatzu shouted. "He's always the life of the party!" 

Tien smiled and everyone cheered. Krillin took 2 glass bottles of Johnny Walker. "I bet I can top it!" He set the first bottle on the table and held it with his right hand. He took the other bottle and taped it to the bottle on the table. As fast as the no-nosed freak could, he took the bottle in his right hand and swung it up to his mouth. Foam was spilling everywhere as he tried desperately to catch the majority of it in his mouth. He got as much of it as he could and wiped off his mouth. Everyone once again smiled in amazement. 

"The vibration from the bottom of the top bottle shook the glass of the brim of the bottom bottle causing an explosion of foam, in other words, I just made it fizz up!" A Krillin that was already three sheets to the wind tried hard to explain.

As everyone laughed at Krillin's explanation except Yamcha. "Yamcha, buddy, what's with you tonight? You've been so quiet?" A squeaky Choatzu voice asked.

"It's that girl over there, isn't she pretty? I haven't been able to take my eyes off of her beauty." Yamcha replied. 

"That's some funny shit." Tien said with a smile on his face. "I mean, of course, if you're really interested go talk to her!"

Yamcha walked over to the table where the hot blonde was sitting. She had a light blue skirt on and a white blouse. It was cold in the bar so Yamcha could see the woman's capillaries were tightened up. He couldn't stop staring at her. However, the first words spoken were from her.

"Can I help you?" The mysterious woman asked.

"U-U-Um…" Yamcha hung his head low as he walked back to the bar. "She paid no attention to me." He told Tien and Krillin. Choatzu had been lap-dancing for an older lady toward the end of the bar, while the song "I'm too Sexy" played.

"I'll show you how it works." Krillin looked kinda shocked as it appeared Tien was going to try his hand with the ladies.

All Krillin and Yamcha could hear was mumbling from where they were sitting. In the end Tien had swept the lady off her feet and took her to the dance floor. 

"They seem to be getting along well. In fact, too well if ya ask me." Yamcha said, pointing out the laughter and smiles coming from where they were dancing.

Suddenly, Yamcha looked around and could no longer find Tien or the beautiful lady he was with. Krillin spotted Tien just before he was walking out there door and raced to get him. "Tien, Tien." Krillin begged, "You've got to come back with us and introduce Yamcha to this lovely lady you're with."

"I, ain't goin' no- no where to- night now fellas, I must take Veronica back to…" Tien scratched his head in confusion. "We're gonna fly to her Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn….." 

Veronica laughed, "Fly? Right." She chuckled s'more.

Tien continued out the door, until Yamcha showed up. "I saw her first." 

"Hey –ah- its allll good, my brotha." Tien explained.

"No, no its not." Yamcha shoved Tien with all his might. He flew back into the bar and hit the wall hard.

"Man you can't mess with me. I'm so high –not to mention stoned- that this shit don't effect me. It don't hurt at all." Tien grinned. Yamcha raced toward Tien but was tripped by a strong heavy-set hillbilly.

"You listen here punk, get off my woman. She came with me and she's a leavin with me whether I have to beat you to a pulp or not mother fucker." The man grumbled. 

Yamcha's confidence was now with him. He threw up his middle finger and let it linger. The hillbilly smiled and knocked Yamcha clear across the room with a punch. Yamcha quickly recovered and phased across the room to the beer-bellied slob. "Feel my wrath." Yamcha demanded.

"Let's not and say we did." Said the big mouthed hillbilly (Yea, it's Veronica's boyfriend, ouu big and bad, can the Z fighters take him?).

Yamcha threw a fury of punches and hard kicks at the man, getting the best of him. The man ate the ground and everyone cheered for Yamcha. He blasted him with a few scatter shots, ending the pig's life. (Boy I've called that hillbilly tons of various names, maybe I should've just named him?) Tien stood proudly, ready to fight (Keep in mind how stoned he is.). 

Choatzu was hitting the crack pipe in the corner. He had weed and cocaine in both pockets, not to mention all the Blaque's he was selling.

Tien slew toward Yamcha but got a knee to the stomach. He cringed in pain. (Oh, wait! What pain? He's high and drunk, there is no pain!) To make a long story short Tien was getting the crap beat out of him, until Piccolo came in. Yamcha was afraid of Piccolo.

"He started it." Yelled Yamcha, pointing to Tien.

"Listen here. Yamcha! You started it."

"Wha- I- But yo- Naw, Piccolo what are you talking about? Did you even see it?" Yamcha said while trying desperately to defend his side.

"Yes I saw the whole thing." Piccolo raised his hands toward Yamcha and Yamcha ran.

"Hey man have you lost it Piccolo?!" Krillin yelled form across the room.

Piccolo blasted Yamcha into another dimension. "His life was pointless, he was extremely weak."Choatzu smiled, Krillin looked unsure and Tien was still confused but he spoke anyway, "Yo, ma, that was way cool man."

"I know." Piccolo answered.

"No I mean like waaay cool, dawg. You're a real hero," Tien thanked Piccolo.

Everyone laughed and cheered now realizing that it would all be a-okay, except Choatzu who passed out : )

Piccolo joins the gang in place of Yamcha on the new Drinking Buddies!!!


End file.
